


It Didn't Have To Be This Way

by WheresTheFlock



Series: Even We Have Two Faces [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, Gen, Other, So so much angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:03:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3542123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WheresTheFlock/pseuds/WheresTheFlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which I actually listen to my muse's suggestions & there is a lot of angst.</p><p>or</p><p>Deleted scenes from Even We Have Two Faces to balance out the fluff.</p><p>(Can be read by itself but it might be a little confusing.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lexa - Clarke

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that even though these are deleted scenes, they vary in actual placement in Even We Have Two Faces.
> 
> AKA you're getting scenes that _could have_ been placed far ahead the timeline of the FF.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #protectLexa2015

 

 

You were on your way to surprise her when you saw her talking with some boy.

At first, you thought your eyes to be deceiving you.

You knew it was wishful thinking when you looked again and saw her.

You clenched the bouquet of flowers you were holding, crushing the stems. They were lilies— her favorite.

You spent sometime watching her, watching her smile. It looked so genuine, so pure, and it lacked its usual traces of worry.

You wished to give her a smile like that one day.

 

How foolish of you to think you could.

 

You dumped the bouquet in the trash and began your journey back home.

You were right all along, you don’t know why you thought otherwise.

 

_Love is weakness._

_Love is weakness._

 

So why did you let yourself love again?

You clench your jaw and quicken your pace.

 

How foolish of you.

 

How _foolish_ of you.

 

You scoff and look up at the sky.

At least now you are reminded again, just how _weak_ love can make you.

You won’t allow yourself to make the mistake again.

 

Because how could you?

 

What you felt when you saw her with another boy— _that_ was weakness.

And you’re ashamed, so deeply ashamed of yourself for not being able to control your emotions.

It wasn’t strength— the things you found yourself wanting to do to the boy that was talking to her.

 

You knew, you know what love could do to you.

 

You won’t let Clarke become another Costia, _not again_.

 

What a _fool_ you are.

 

  
You won’t let yourself to make the same mistake again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually laughed reading this, this is the least angst-y one I've written for the deleted scenes.


	2. Clarke - Lexa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #protectClarke2015

 

 

It’s been two years since Lexa’s death.

 

Despite Clarke’s insistence that “Love _is_ weakness,” she can’t help herself when Lexa’s anniversary comes around.

 

Because sometimes, even Clarke has her moments of weakness.

 

You’d find her sometimes, randomly throughout the year, at Lexa’s grave.

 

You’d find her with tears running down her eyes.

 

Sometimes you’d hear the things you say and you can’t help but feel that you’re intruding on something no one should hear.

 

_“We got what we’ve always wanted,” she sobs harder, “Everything we’ve been working for. The Mountain Men are gone.” She would try to smile, but anyone with eyes could tell how broken her smile actually looks. “The Grounders and the Ark are finally at peace.”_

_She would look back down to the ground and lower her voice to a whisper only you could hear. “You can come back now, you know?”_

_Her smile would eventually break as she drops to her knees. “You can come back now.” She would whisper again._

_Sometimes when the leaves rustle with the wind and she thinks you aren’t watching, you would see her look around, her face full of hope and her smile genuine._

_Only to be broken again when she sees that it is only you._

You put your hand on her shoulder. “Come on, princess.”

 

She looks at you, her eyes lost and wet with tears. You hate how broken she looks. “Why won’t she come back?” She asks you.

 

You don’t bother to reply because you know she cannot hear you in her current state.

 

She looks back at Lexa’s grave. “I’ve done everything we ever dreamed of.”

 

+

 

You learned after the first year that after Clarke breaks down, she puts herself back together.

 

You hate that you can’t help her.

 

You hate how she puts herself back together.

 

She’s never the same each time.

 

You tried talking to her one day after you found her broken at Lexa’s grave. You didn’t realize what a mistake it was when you tried asking her about Lexa.

 

_Her face hardened, “Lexa is the past, Bellamy.”_

_You frowned. “She’s still very much in the present for you, Clarke.”_

_She glared at you, her face full of venom. “Love is weakness.”_

_Your face softened. “Clarke…”_

_She put her hand up, not allowing you to finish. “I’m not an idiot.” She clenched her fists. “Love is weakness.” She repeated._

After your third attempt of trying to get her to open herself up to you, you knew it was futile.

 

_“The time for mourning is over, Bellamy.” She looked at you, face devoid of emotion. “Get over it.”_

__  
  


But it wasn’t you who needed to mourn.

  
  


You didn’t have the heart to tell her.

 

 


	3. Raven + Clarke - Poe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #protecteveryoneinthischapter2015
> 
> (Poe included.)

 

 

It’s been two weeks since you and Raven took Poe to the vet.

 

It was a quiet ride back, the two of you barely speaking.

Poe looked upon the both of you and licked both of your faces as if he realized the tension in the air.

It broke your heart even more.

 

Poe is sick.

 

Poe is getting weaker and weaker.

 

Poe is old.

 

Poe is dying.

 

You don’t know what to do.

What can you do?

When your friend’s best friend is dying and you hold no control over it, what _can_ you do?

 

You tried visiting her soon after the trip to the vet, hoping to lift her spirits.

 

You didn’t know that you should have appreciated her smiles more then.

 

You rarely ever saw them again.

 

“Raven?” You knock on the door, holding a pumpkin pie with your other hand.

She opened the door and gave you a weak smile. “Hey princess.”

You tried your best to not outwardly frown when you took in her appearance— you could already see the weight she’s lost. You smiled but you know she could see through it. “I brought pie.”

She nods and moves aside for you to walk through.

Poe happily greeted you, tail wagging. You let yourself hope for a split second that _it’s going to be okay._

 

But it wasn’t.

 

You and Raven both knew it wasn’t.

You spent the rest of the evening eating pie with Raven and playing with Poe.

 

You wish you could have somehow known to appreciate her smiles more.

 

You wish you could see them again.

 

+

 

It’s been a month since the trip to the vet.

 

You’re trying to take Raven clubbing, anything, really.

 

Anything to see her genuine smile again.

 

But she refuses to leave Poe.

 

_She gave you a weak, broken smile. “Only Poe makes me smile now, Clarke.”_

_You nodded, you understood. You gave her a fragile smile as well. “Then let’s walk Poe.”_

 

+

 

It’s been a month and a half since the trip to the vet.

 

Raven refuses to see you or _anyone_ really.

 

And you tried, you really tried to get her to see you.

 

You’re currently outside her door. “Please Raven, just open up.”

“I’m fine, Clarke,” she says, and you hate how broken she sounds.

You frown. “You’re not fine, Raven. Please.”

Her voice hardens. “Just go away, Clarke.”

You look at the pie in your hand. “I bought pie,” you try.

“Leave, Clarke.”

“Please, Raven. You need to talk to someone, anyone.”

You weren’t prepared for what you heard next.

You weren’t prepared for how shattered Raven sounded.

“I only need Poe.”

She didn’t know you didn’t leave until you could no longer hear her sobbing.

 

“I only need Poe,” she repeats.

 

“I only need Poe.”

 

How ironic that you couldn’t help but think of how much she reminded you of a broken record.

 

How do you help your friend who is losing her best friend?

 

You wish you knew.

 

You still don’t know.

 

+

 

It’s been three months since the trip to the vet.

 

And you’re scared, you’re so scared.

 

Poe is dying.

 

Sometimes you try to visit Raven, even when you know it’s futile.

 

You would hear Poe bark happily,

 

but you never hear Raven.

 

You haven’t heard from her.

 

You would talk to Poe sometimes, imagining his wagging tail.

You amuse yourself that he’s talking to you too, if his barks are anything to go by.

 

Lately, his barks are becoming less frequent.

 

Lately, you can’t quite hear his tail wagging from the other side of the door.

 

You’re scared.

 

But you don’t know what to do.

 

+

 

Raven finally let you in after the fourth month, but she rarely talks to you.

 

Only Poe.

 

You know, you know it in your heart that Poe will pass away soon.

 

It’s the only reason Raven let you in.

 

She knows you love him too.

 

You’ve been sleeping over, afraid for what might happen if you’re not there when Poe _does_ pass away.

 

Sometimes you would try to get Raven to eat.

 

It was hypocritical because soon you stopped eating as well.

 

There are days you and Raven act as if everything’s normal.

 

The two of you would watch Poe devour his food eagerly, watch him offer his toy for one of you to throw.

Watch him follow someone around, happily curious, tail wagging.

 

You like to pretend that _everything is okay_ when these rare days occur.

 

But you know it’s not.

 

You both know it’s not.

 

+

 

It’s during the fifth month that your worst fears come true.

 

Poe is gone.

 

Poe is dead.

 

And you’ll never hear his bark again.

 

He never woke up one morning, you yourself woken up by Raven’s screaming.

 

You never forgot the guttural wail you heard.

 

You never forgot her desperate pleas for Poe to wake up.

 

_It’s too soon._

_I’m not ready._

_Please, please don’t leave me._

_Not yet._

_Not ever._

_Please._

_Please._

_Don’t go._

 

You tried to comfort her, but you could barely contain your own emotions.

 

You hate your own failings as a friend.

 

She was— is broken, but so are you.

 

How can you help restore a broken person when you don’t have all the parts yourself?

 

You wish you knew.

 

 

  
You still don’t know.

 

 


End file.
